We Must Help Our Lost Friend!

Hey friends! I was recently hanging out with David Loughrey, and I was little disturbed by his Internet search history.

I understand obsession with one's fantasy team, but is trying to find out ways to kidnap and marry a player a good idea?  We must stop this behavior! We cannot allow our friend to fall apart in such a tragic & disheartening manner.

If you know any desperate ladies with low expectations, could you please share David's phone number with her? Thank you!