A Lesson in Auction Drafts with David Loughrey

A Note from The Commissioner - As I found, you will certainly find the results of this interview insulting.  I had to delete some of the more inappropriate jokes including one involving several league members' mothers, an ape, a banana, and whipped cream.   I was appalled by the nature of this interview, but I decided to run it, because as a society we cannot allow delusional people to be hidden in padded rooms we must show their insanity, so they can get the help they need, which in this case would be a padded room.  Join me in enjoying the knowledge of David Loughrey.

Question #1 –  Why do you like auction style drafts?

It brings me back to a simpler time when you could tell how good a man would be by the price you paid for him at auction. Steve, Anthony, Tavis and the rest of you Southerners should understand this concept.

Question #2 – What is the secret to success in an auction draft?

I always spend half my bank on one good player so everyone should do that this year. Please spend $100 on your top RB and you can all be as successful as me.

Question #3 – What are some of the most genius moves you have made?

The smartest thing I've done is join a league where nobody knows anything about football but everyone is conviced they're the smartest person in the group. Guarantees a top 3 finish every year while the peasants argue about who scored better on the SAT 6 years ago.

Question #4 – What are some of the foolish moves others have made?

My favorite move ever is Joel having like 6 Tight Ends and starting 3 of them every week. Also, the idiot who drafted Jay Cutler as his starting QB 3 years in a row and ends up cutting him halfway through the season because he sucks. EVERY SINGLE YEAR. Oh wait that was me.

Question #5 – Do you consider yourself an expert of fantasy football?  Why?

I think declaring yourself an "expert" at anything makes you come off as arrogant. I'm sure Picasso didn't go around declaring himself an expert at painting and Tom Brady doesn't call himself an expert at throwing TDs and banging hot chicks but at the end of the day, we're all at the top of our respective fields.

Question #6 – If you are such an expert as you claim, why haven’t you been able to win the league title?   What is holding you back from greatness?

Have you ever found something you really enjoyed and are good at so you want to get your friends involved? Well if you dominate them every time you play, eventually the other person will give up and you'll have nobody to play with (ex. Anthony facing me in Stratego, Racquetball, Video Games, etc.). I figured I'd let some people get "1st place" for a few years while they learned the basics of fantasy football before I start completly destroying everyone. You're welcome.